Holly Bartlett RN

Woo hoo! I found out today that I passed my board exam. Now the only thing that stands in between me and being a registered nurse is my FBI background check. For some reason, I am not that worried about it.

I did spend a lot of time worrying about my exam. Wednesday, I actually had a complete breakdown. I took my test in the morning. I did not feel good about it. It was hard and there were a lot of questions that I was not sure about my answers on. That afternoon I had my hair cut and colored. I loved the cut from the start. The color I wasn't so sure about. It turned out a little darker than I was anticipating and I felt like the contrast between the base color and the highlights was too great. After that I had my taxes done. Usually, I do my taxes myself. Last year I had a form that was different than a W2. This messed everything up and I ended up having to pay more taxes after the IRS sent me a letter. This year I had the same form and did not want to get stuck with the same letter. My sister had her taxes prepared for $50. I did not think it was that bad for peace of mind. Well, because of this same form my taxes cost $168 to prepare. That was it, the last straw. I started crying at H&R Block. Praise the Lord, my mom knew the woman, and I wasn't crying in front of a complete stranger. This is my life.

Any way, now I love my hair, my tax refund pays for the cost of getting my taxes done and I passed my exam. I worry. Sometimes about nothing.

I studied and worried. But I also prayed. Two verses that I was constantly reminded of were Philippians 4:6-7.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition,
with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which
transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ
Jesus.

I don't have this down. I am a worrier. I don't relax. It is just not my thing. I had to constantly hand the test over to our Great God. Frequently, I would realize that I was placing all my trust in my own ability and the effort I had put forth studying. Don't get me wrong. I don't thing God wants us to spend all of our time praying, and no time studying. But there comes to a point when we have to TRUST, no matter what the outcome may be. So I prayed. Specifically, I prayed that I would pass and pass in 75 questions. That is exactly what happened.

Sometimes I am afraid to pray for specific things. Why? I don't know the complete answer. I think perhaps I feel like I am being selfish to pray for specifics. Often I don't feel like I should pray for myself. I guess that is pretty silly. Perhaps, this is the lesson I was to learn throughout this. It is ok to pray for myself and it is ok to pray specifics. God wants to answer our prayers. I hope that this response would be the same if I would not have passed my exam. I'm not sure. But, there would probably be a different lesson to be learned in that case.