I'm just a girl who can't say "no"?

I am naive. I realize this, sometimes after the fact. I think I have a date this weekend. I say I think because at first I thought this guy was being nice wanting to show me around, that kind of stuff. So I told him I would give him my phone number. But, I think this is a date. He is going to get tickets to a game or something. And dinner. Or maybe a movie. I did it again didn't I?

Sexy

So, I have named my car. Actually, my grandma named my car. When my grandma saw my car, she said "That's a sexy little car." Thus the name "Sexy." It is for sure not a name that I came up with on my own, but with a story like that, how could you resist naming my car "Sexy."

Two nights of fun...That might be too much.

Tonight I went to church with a friend of a friend. Last summer I was in Liz and Aaron Reasland's wedding and I met a woman named Stephanie. She is a good friend of Liz's from high school, and just happens to live in Phoenix now.

We had been trying to get together for a while. For some reason stuff just couldn't match up. Our original meeting was missed because I was having a car issue and she had something come up. Then she had company, and I had company and it just wasn't seeming to work out.

Well tonight it was great to get to meet her husband and some of her friends. I joined her at their church. It was pretty good. The message was relevant and intellectual. The music was good and it was an atmosphere where I felt free to worship. I am not sure if it is the church for me, but I will definitely give it more than one chance. I am really looking for a place that has something for people my own age, in my own situation. But, the idea of a singles group just makes me kind of cringe. I am not sure why.

Anyway, it was really nice to go to church and have someone to sit with. I know that seems trivial, but some weeks I don't want to try out a new church or even go because I know that I have to go by myself. It is a lot harder than I expected.

But this church is not an automatic no, and definitely one that I will check out more than once.

After the service we went out for pizza. It was another good time to have a real conversation. More than one real conversation actually. And it was really cool because Steph really understands where I am coming from. She was her by herself for a while before she got married and her husband moved down.

Watch out world. I am on a role. Two nights of fun in a row. Whew.

Glowing Bowling

I am not sure what that is really called? You know when you go some place and they have the black lights and then stuff that accents the fact that there are black lights? Well I went bowling in a place like that tonight. It was really fun. I actually really like bowling. There was a year in my life that I went bowling once a week. I was not on a league, but one summer my mom had these passes where we could get a free game of bowing. I am not sure if the deal was buy one get one free or if it was something like free Wednesdays or one free game a day.

Anyhow, we went every Wednesday and it was fun to have a regular thing like that. You never had to question what we were going to do on Wednesday night. That was the thing. Sweet. I loved it really. I think it is one of my favorite high school memories. They played N'Sync and we made up new lyrics. I can't remember them exactly, but they were fun. It was also really cool because it was something that I did with my friends and my sister and her friends. Never mind the fact that we were 3 years apart and in high school. It was great. Now that I think about it I might not like bowling as much as the memories it brings back or just the time to get to spend with people.

Just a car

So, a car is just a car. That is what is keeping me from getting upset about what has happened to my car. Don't worry, nothing serious has happened. I saw a scratch on the hood. It is about 4 inches, but you have to look close to see it.

Then today when I was driving I rock, or something like a rock, hit my windshield and chipped it. This is really not a big deal because I have full glass insurance, so any thing wrong with my glass gets fixed with no deductible.

And I am reminded, it is just a car. Even though both of these things happened before I have made a payment or put my metal plate on, it is just a car. Things are just that, things.

Are we all in a place of confusion?

As I read over the posts of my friends, I wonder, "Are we all in a place of confusion or sadness?" I told you I would tell you the hard part. Today, my friends is that day. It is not simply because I haven't posted in a while. Today brought a climax (one of several I am sure) to my loneliness and comfort as well. After talking with a good friend, who let me vent via AIM, I sat down to read my Bible for the day. When I was about to end, something made me to continue. Here is what I read.

Psalm 84
5Happy are those who are strong in the Lord,
who set their minds on a pilgrimage to Jerusalem.
6When they walk through the Valley of Weeping,
it will become a place of refreshing springs,
where pools of blessing collect after the rains!
7They will continue to grow stronger,
and each of them will appear before God in Jerusalem.

I thought to myself, wow, how can He know so much what I need to hear. Not only does He comfort me with the kind words of my friend, but also His word.

Now the Valley of Weeping is a real place, but I think that it is a place that we all come to just not physically.

I know that the Lord has lead me here. I am not quite sure why sometimes, but He has. I love my job, perhaps that is one small part of it. But the non-job stuff is hard. Really hard sometimes.

Today, I think I was more homesick than I have ever been. This is incredibly strange since I have traveled half way across the world more than once. I have spent summers in other states and months away from people I love. I spent Christmas, New Years, and my birthday in Japan. But, I always come back. Today is Mother's Day and Friday was my dad's birthday. For years of the combination of end of school finals and end of school lack of funds, my presence has been the present for both of those days. But this year its not. It can't be. And that stinks, because as much as I would like to send my parents a great gift so show how much I love them, I really would rather give them a hug and tell them I do. The realization of living hundreds of miles away from home, is hitting home.

This is punctuated by the fact that I haven't really made friends yet. I am way blessed by my family here. My aunt and uncle are great and a lot of fun to hang out with. I even feel comfortable sharing what is bothering me or what is going through my head and that is great. My cousin has been great since she has been back from school as well. She and her boyfriend invite me to come along with their friends. They have even been so kind to say something about me needing to get to know more of their friends so that I am in the loop. Blessed. But they are still their friends at this point.

I haven't found a church yet. One could say part of this is that I haven't tried very hard. That is true. There are some Sundays that I have stayed in my bed or sat in a restaurant eating breakfast with my family. But, really, that is one of the places where I feel the most alone. I never really knew the real feeling of being the new kid in the church. When I started going to Zion, I went with a friend and her family. I actually eased my way in by going to youth stuff first, then going to church. Then when I went to Parkview, it was kind of like everyone went there. And as a freshman, everyone is new, and every one knows that your new. And in both of these situations I had a buddy. I kind of lack the buddy here. I have learned very quickly that I am drastically more outgoing when I know that there is some one there that still loves me, even though I might put myself out in front of all of these other new people.

So I think that is it. That is the hard part. The real life part. But that is not the end of Psalm 84 and agree with me or not, I think it just gets better:

11 For the Lord God is our light and protector.
He gives us grace and glory.
No good thing will the Lord withhold form those who do what is right.
12 Oh Lord Almighty,
happy are those who trust in you.

So yeah, its hard. And, sometimes I cry. And I miss home. BUT, the Lord is my light and protector, and friend. And He gives me grace. And friends are good things and He says He will not withhold any good thing. I will trust Him.

What should I name her?

Isn't she pretty.Ohh...spoiler.
Spacious for short people. :)
6 Disk, plus and aux jack for my iPod.

Nice rims.
LX, Special Edition, as noted by the rectangle under the light.
Red...how appropriate.

It is kinda like a smile right? Just incase you didn't get a good look from the other profile pictures.

So, yesterday my Uncle Mike and I were waiting for my Aunt Lynn to go get something to eat. We were already on our way when she told us to give her ten minutes. It takes about 5 minutes to drive there. So we looked at the cars on the lot. This one caught my eye automatically. I mentioned this to my aunt and she had me sit down with a guy who could give me some numbers...no pressure. The numbers sounded good. With my trade and nothing down my payments would be about the same as I was planning on for a new one...with an extra $5000 down I was planning on saving. That sounded pretty good.

We walked away and I thought, that sounds good. That would be an extra $5000 I could put down on a place to live...slightly more important than a car.

So today, got an insurance quote. It was reasonable, if you live in Arizona anyway. After work, drove it. Loved it. Sat down and bought it. Well, allowed the bank to buy it and promise, in the form of a legal document to pay them back.

Now the only question is, what is her name?