The Job-Hey found this post saved from May!

I have to say that I really like my job so far. When I was in my internship I thought that I might have made the wrong choice about being a nurse. I did not really like my internship. In fact, before I would go in I dreaded it. I got this icky feeling in my stomach.

I think my biggest problem was that I felt like we weren't really helping people. I felt like I never saw anyone actually GET WELL. That is a really frustrating thing when you go into nursing because you want to help people. Now, I know that it is not true that we didn't help people. We did. I am sure that many of the people that I took care of actually got better and were able to go home eventually. But you don't see the going home part in intensive care.

I wasn't able to talk to my patients, or at least communicate with them very well. Most of the patients were on ventilators. For you non health care people that means they had a tube in their mouth or in their throat that was hooked up to a machine to help them breathe. The could not eat on their own. The could not tell you if they were in pain. Often times we would have to pinch them just to make sure that they would respond to the touch.

I felt like all we were doing were the basics to keep people alive. Sometimes I felt like we were doing too much to keep people alive. I don't know how everyone feels about people living on tubes, but from what I have seen I think sometimes we are playing God by having people live off of machines and not letting them die. I think there is a point that there is no return, the point when you withdrawal the help you are killing that person, but why do we let so many people get to that point. You can debate me on the moral/philosophical/legal issue if you want, but I contest that you have not seen the things that I have seen. And every situation is different.

Anyway, my point is I LIKE MY JOB. It is great. People are not on the verge of dying, typically. I am able to talk to my patients and for the most part they can understand. I can ask them what they are feeling and the can tell me. My job is not simply to keep them alive, but to really take care of them. I am able to provide for more than just their basic needs, I LOVE that. This job makes me feel like this is the reason that I became a nurse.

There is a lot that I still have to learn. I am very thankful that I have 12 weeks of orientation. I am also very thankful for a great preceptor (experienced nurse mentor showing me the ropes.) We get along well, and she is a great teacher in addition to a great nurse. She gives me time to think about things, does not make me feel bad about asking questions and challenges me in a good way.

The biggest challenges I am facing is learning to prioritize. Even though I am able to provide for lots of needs, I need to learn what needs to be taken care of now and what can happen after now. That is not always an easy decision. Directly related to that is, time management. I am sure that both of these things will improve with time, but it is frustrating to not be "great" right away. It takes me so long to do somethings that should be so simple and that is frustrating. Some of those things are mechanics issues, such as where do I get that, or I have never worked with this kind of IV set before.

Those are both issues that I expected to face. The one that my preceptor anticipated that I did not is that actual mind set transition from student to nurse. I am an RN. I can go do something without asking someone first. But it is my license that is at risk, not someone else's. It is time for me to have the knowledge and be making the decisions.

Wow, this being an adult thing is difficult sometimes. But is good. I am so excited to start my nursing career in a place where I feel like I can make a difference in people's lives. And the best part is, I feel like I already have.